


and if i was ever to leave, i'd say before i go (that you're the best moment i have ever known)

by wonnietv (heoneybee)



Series: kihyungwon bingo [5]
Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Drabble, F/F, Mutual Pining, lesbians just can't be happy ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 09:05:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heoneybee/pseuds/wonnietv
Summary: “guess who.” a melodic voice sings close to her ear. hyewon doesn’t have to guess. from the subtle scent of apples and cinnamon to the warm palms of soft and small hands everything is a tale-tell sign of yeojoo. hyewon’s heart skips a beat; a single stutter in an otherwise frantic and restless rhythm.





	and if i was ever to leave, i'd say before i go (that you're the best moment i have ever known)

**Author's Note:**

> here we go again
> 
> also this isn't proof read so pls forgive any typos

**** tall. wide shoulders. good looking. even the smile he sent her way is perfectly charming. if their situation had been any different hyewon would have definitely agreed that he’s ideal. 

 

it’s her parents that picked him; she’s certain. his parents look equally excited about an opportunity like this, one where two powerful and rich families can multiply their fortune by a quick and easily forged bond. the word ‘marriage’ hasn’t exactly been uttered yet, but it’s _implied_. the implication is there in the way her mother got out their best china, the maid sat and polished the silver cutlery and a chef was hired specifically for this one evening. she felt the implication when she was told what to wear, how to act. she feels it now, in the way his parents eye her. 

 

a future bride. 

 

halfway through the dinner, hyewon excuses herself and goes to her room. she inhales once and unlocks her phone. 

 

yeojoo’s number is first on her speed dial. 

 

*

 

it’s two weeks before christmas and hyewon is firmly wrapped in the thick wool scarf yeojoo had made for her the pervious year. she’s shivering in the bleak seoul winter; a starless and cloudy night sky and cruel, icy wind. yeojoo said she will be tardy with her lecture having ended later than usual, but hyewon doesn’t feel comfortable enough, with her unusually tall frame and pretty features, to just walk into the coffee shop and take a seat. the past has taught her that everything can be seen as an invitation for men to take a seat next to her and chat her up. 

 

“guess who.” a melodic voice sings close to her ear. hyewon doesn’t have to guess. from the subtle scent of apples and cinnamon to the warm palms of soft and small hands everything is a tale-tell sign of yeojoo. hyewon’s heart skips a beat; a single stutter in an otherwise frantic and restless rhythm. 

she purses her lips and hums, pretends to think despite knowing fully well that yeojoo gets impatient easily and quickly. 

 

the other girl doesn’t wait more than a few seconds before removing her hands and tugging on hyewon’s sleeve to get her to turn. 

 

yeojoo’s cheeks and nose are red from the cold, a sharp smile growing on her full cheeks, just shy of big enough to expose a dimple on the top of her cheek. hyewon feels freezing cold and flushed with heat at once, feels yeojoo’s fingers wrapped around her hand casually, thoughtlessly and forces a smile.

“did you wait long?” yeojoo asks, the concern audible in her voice. she will start to nag soon, no doubt. hyewon has been waiting a while and her fingers are frozen stiff, borderline painful as yeojoo sandwiches them between her warm palms. “hyewon, i told you i’d be late! why didn’t you go in?” 

 

“there’s too many guys in there do you know what would happen if a beauty like me comes waltzing in?” hyewon mumbles and pulls one of her hands back for a theatric hair flip. yeojoo rolls her eyes and reaches out to gently flick her forehead. hyewon can already feel the pout tugging on her own lips before yeojoo speaks up again.

 

“stop that. you can leave ‘dodo’ in university when other people are around, but when it’s the two of us i’d like to talk with hyewon. okay?” yeojoo’s firm tone never failed to make others feel miffed, defensive. as if whatever she was saying was meant as a personal attack. hyewon has known her for most of her life and by now knows that whatever yeojoo says, no matter how harsh, is always heartfelt. 

it’s not easy to ignore the way her words make her heart sing and squeeze painfully, the intense look in those slanted eyes. someone in their class once said that yeojoo looked sly, like a fox. hyewon never understood how people couldn’t see that if yeojoo were an animal she would be a dog. loyal and caring and gentle. 

 

maybe hyewon remains silent for more than usual or maybe the twitchy quality to her smile speaks volumes to yeojoo, who had more than enough time to map out the details of her face, because a second later, gentle hands cup her face. 

“are you okay? you sounded quite upset over the phone. whatever it is must be quite bad if you wanted to meet up to tell me.” yeojoo looks worried. she sounds concerned and antsy, but her thumbs are nothing but tender as they stroke over hyewon’s cheeks. it hurts more than it should; or maybe it hurts because of their circumstances and hyewon feeling like all she wants is close enough to reach, yet she’ll forever have to refrain from attempting to grasp it. 

 

( because hyewon has been in love with yeojoo for years. from the first time she cried ugly, bitter tears, all alone and curled up on a muddy ground with rain beating down on her. children could be cruel and hyewon got to feel just how far the extent of that cruelty went. no one seemed willing to help, no one ever came to her rescue, even those she thought to be her friends. no one, but yeojoo. with her stern frown and fingers wrapped tightly around the handles of an umbrella. 

“stop crying,” she had said, her voice almost harsh against the rush of rain and pounding of hyewon’s heart, “none of them are worth your tears.” 

 

because she’s been in love from the time she saw that blinding, careless smile, spotted the dimple on the top of yeojoo’s cheek. she’s been in love since she memorised the scent of her detergent, the lines that run along her palms. she’s been in love since she started falling asleep with yeojoo’s voice in her ear, like the gentle song of a nightingale. 

 

it hurts because hyewon is in love. )

 

“i’m engaged.” she finally says. “my parents finally picked someone. i’m getting married next year.” yeojoo’s smile freezes, then crumbles. uncertain, hesitant. hyewon feels wetness on her cheek, but before she can reach for it, yeojoo is pulling her in, holding her tight.

 

“congratulations, hyewon.” yeojoo whispers. hyewon likes to think she sounds pained.

 

or maybe hyewon likes to remember their secret drunken kiss and shared touches and imagine that it hurts more because yeojoo is in love, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> i also now have a separate fic [twt](https://twitter.com/wonnietv) just for spoilers and updates as well as a [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/wonnietv) for questions n prompts!


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